If rationality and consistent thought are the preferred
distinguishing marks of man, then even if it is admitted that man,
as a whole, also has passions, the supremacy of rational thought
over them may well seem an unquestionable idea. This is all the more
so, since it is quite obvious that gaining some such control is a
basic condition of growing up, and even, at the extreme, of sanity.
But to move from that into making such control into the ideal, rules
out a priori most forms of spontaneity. And this seems to be
absurd.
I would suggest to find your deepest impulse, and follow that. The
notion that there is something that is one's deepest impulse, that
there is a discovery to be made here, rather than a decision; and
the notion that one trusts what is so discovered, although unclear
where it will lead - these, rather, are the point. The combination -
discovery, trust, and risk - are central to my sort of outlook, as
of course they are to the state of being in love.